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King Harkinian
http://profile.ak.fbcdn.net/hprofile-ak-snc4/50496_43323759340_4674421_n.jpg King Harkinian, better known as simply The King, is the noble ruler of the land of Hyrule and one of the most famous characters in the YouTube Poop universe. He loves talking to and about his boi, Link. He also constantly wonders what's for dinner, and likes to aid his far-away friend, Duke Onkled. However, the duke gave the king over to the forces of Ganon, but when the king was rescued by Zelda, he made Duke Onkled scrub all the floors in Hyrule, and later sentenced him to death. His castle has been destroyed several times over the years. His phone number is 1-800-444-DINNER. History Very little is known about The King's early life, although it has been speculated that his father may have been Santa Claus. It is known that he was born sometime in 1956, and spent at least three years of his childhood in Johannesburg. Areas of Expertise *The King had an epic adventure with Snake and Miyuki. He fought great enimies like M. Bison and Bowser. It turns out it was all to make people around the world to eat his shit. Very gross, huh? *The King has extensive knowledge of what true warriors strive for, whether it be peace, dinner, or certain bodily fluids. *The King has mastered many psychic-based powers, and can teleport from outdoors to indoors in an instant. Rumor has it the idea for the movie "Jumper" was based off this skill. *The King also has a , but has not released his friend code to the Hylian public. He is currently one of the worst Wario Ware players, and sucks at Mario Party 8 and Mario Kart Wii. And don't get us started on Wii Fit. *He rocks at Guitar Hero. Zelda dislikes this, and will throw rocks at the King if he is caught playing it. *He has his own brand of cereal, called Munf Munf. The cereal is so good that eating an entire box of it will make your head explode. The King likes to advertise his Munf Munf, but Gay Luigi keeps interrupting him. M. Bison thinks Munf Munf is DELICIOUS, and Glutko thinks it tastes like diarrhea, which is DELICIOUS to him. *Expert at using a webcam, and tortures people who give him "dislike" ratings on Youtube. *It is rumored that he trained Xuchilbara in the ways of the Poop, but failed horribly. *Vorhias managed to steal his dinner once. He barely made it out with his life. *It is heavily suspected The King is a hard drinker. He usually drinks when talking about his "boy", and even laughs like a drunk frequently, possibly even flirting with Zelda. This may be due to his bottomless goblet which he holds most of the time. *The King is one of two people who have mastered the lightsaber in Hyrule. The other person is Link. *The King can utilize different kinds of beam attacks, mostly coming from his mouth. His signature attack is "Dinner Attack", and when activated, the King's colours are inverted and his eyes bloodshot, and fires a massive beam that smells like Thanksgiving. *Knows some of the best places to eat dinner. His all time favorite restaurant was Morshu's Dinner Palace, eating there for dinner every day from the opening in 1967 to the closing in 1985. He stopped eating there when Rick bought the place and constantly Rick Rolled The King every time he tried to eat. *Before he became the King of Hyrule, he once wrote a book about his expertise in life called "Mein Junge." He also wrote about his beliefs such as having peace becoming what all true warriors strive for. *He once walked to Gamelon after Ganon seized his ship. It is unclear how he got there. He either has the ability to walk on water or breath underwater. *The King appears to be going through a time of financial difficulty. The only thing he wears is an orange gown and a headband with a Triforce symbol on it, and he has to use the same goblet for all his drinks. He looks like a plebeian. *During his time in the pit, he gained the power of regeneration, which explains why he didn't seem harmed when his dick got caught in the door. *His belching can resurrect the dead if he consumes alcohol during a funeral, such as resurrecting Impa who died of a heart attack due to loud thunder, and because the zombies get destructive and he has to belch to revert them into living beings while someone uses the Book of Koridai. He is now forbidden from drinking alchohol during funerals. *It should be noted that the King is a pretty bad father. I mean, he just lets Zelda get captured during the night by Ganon, and he's always leaving on useless trips to Gamelon where she ends up having to save him. I know that she is mature and should look out for her own life, but...still! *Over the years, Harkinian has collected many strange and dangerous weapons and vehicles. He owns the "Dinner Blaster", a devastating Weapon of Mass Destruction, which was made illegal in the United YTP Islands conference. What the Dinner Blaster does is disputed, some say it shoots cheeseburgers which make you extremely fat, providing they don't knock your head off. Others say that it can do that and convert into a chaingun. The reason why the effect of the Dinner Blaster is disputed is because Harkinian keeps altering it and making upgraded versions. Robotnik, Fat Mario, Gay Luigi and Link have all suffered the effects of the Dinner Blaster. The King also owns many Flying Saucers and armed Zeppelins. *The reason Harkinian used to ponder what's for dinner is because, actually, there was none. All of the food in Hyrule has been stolen & eaten by that other king, until Harkinian ordered his starving and miserable army to invade the Food Loving King's nation. Hyrulian tanks charged into the capital and destroyed the castle and the Food Loving King was taken out and shot by a firing squad commanded by Harkinian himself. Now, there is plenty of food for all, but the King now has an irreversible habit of wondering what's for dinner, a reminder of those harsh, early years.